Monday, December 20, 2010

Reflection: Ruby's Family Reunion

Last week was a very weird week, but it wrapped up with an even over the top weekend.
I saw my father this weekend; a man I haven't seen in over 16 years. This past April, I found a step sibling on Facebook (gotta love Facebook). Since then I've been on this journey to find a part of myself I've never known before. I've known where to find my father for a while now, I just didn't know if I wanted to open up that can of worms. 
A little backstory, when my mother was preggers with me her senior year of high school, she found out there were at least two other woman in her class impregnated by the same man. Yep... my father is the ultimate rolling stone. When I asked him this weekend a count of his biological children, he couldn't give a specific answer. My father was never around when I was a child and I thank him for that. I see other people whose father toyed with their emotions; making promises they never kept. I felt sorry for those people. I rather have nothing to look forward to than to be let down all the time. 
When I was 16, one of my father's baby's mama (get that) urged that I reach out to him. I did just for curiosity...I'd never seen him before. I just wanted to know what he was like. I talked to him for 15 minutes on my break at the fast food restaurant I worked at. He said he would call. I never looked for the call, I knew better. He never did.
In April, I stumbled upon a guy who was a friend of someone I had FaceBook friended from high school. The guy looked very familiar; almost like looking into the mirror. He also shared my father's name. My half brother and I are trying to establish a relationship and make sure we keep in touch. (He doesn't live in Indy anymore.) After getting to know him, we found out there are possibly 30 children that share our DNA. 

So back to this weekend...I looked at my father as he stood before me. Just a poor, unhappy and lonely man, still searching from something he never found from all those women or all his kids. That thing he's still searching for is love. I don't excuse him or forgive him...I never felt he owed me an apology. I don't want anything from him. He doesn't have anything I want. He did apologize to me, an apology he still hasn't shared with any of his other children. I pity him. We exchanged numbers. I don't know what I will do with it. We will see what the future holds.

On a lighter note, I did spend the rest of the weekend with my Kir Bear. I love my niece but she's perfect birth control and reminds me why I don't have any kids!

Yeah I overcooked the cookies...

Jay trying to get in on the fun time.

Kay's favorite game right now, Don't Break the Ice. I can't tell you how many times I played it this weekend.


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