Self Esteem Begins With Self

Model-Priscilla Jimenez Morales

Self esteem is how you feel about yourself; it is the general judgment of yourself and it is about how much you love yourself. Awareness of body image and self esteem issues has become a prevalent issue in today's culture. I just had to blog about this because I know so many people with low self esteem, especially having weight issues.

I want to do a little exercise with you. Go to a mirror and stare at yourself intensely. This meeting with yourself will be surprising at first. Start by saying hi to yourself, looking closely at your eyes, gradually you will feel more comfortable with yourself and begin a real dialogue with your inner self. Be happy for your happiness and laugh at your mistakes, because from them we learn and become a better and stronger person. That wasn’t hard was it? Now you're going to list one by one your virtues, do it out loud and congratulate yourself. They will be marked in you and will be reflected in your eyes and when you stare at someone's eyes they will immediately know who you are.

I hope this blog has helped a lot of people. Life is short and it is meant to be lived in the fullest way possible. Never forget the eyes are the mirror of the soul because they reflect your strength and wisdom.

Blessings to all,

Marta

So You Think You Can Dance

Hi, today’s blog is a fun one. Who doesn’t like to dance? Almost everyone. On the Island we have Salsa, Merengue, Plena and Belly Dancing among others. This last dance caught my eye because it's not common here and not everyone can do this. The dancer needs certain qualities in his/her natural disposition, in his/her physical constitution and character and in his/her performance. 

Susan with belly dancers Darlyl Montaez and Tracey Ortega

I was on Facebook one day and to my surprise I found a beautiful plus size belly dancer from Puerto Rico. I know her because I have her as a friend on Facebook. Her name is Susan Santana, a lovely girl from Bayamon, Puerto Rico. I contacted her and she was gracious enough to tell me her story as a plus size belly dancer. I was in shock to see this beautiful plus size girl dancing. Susan has so much grace; I don’t impress easily and this girl impressed me. 

She told me while she was at the University, she met up with a childhood friend named Stephanie, who told Susan she gave Belly Dancing classes. Susan decided to give it a shot and  loved it. It makes her relax and she's lost some weight. 

Last month she had the honor of dancing for an ex-governor of Puerto Rico, Sila Maria Calderon. The ex-governor sent for her and told her she was one of the best dancers there. She was so happy because it was her birthday and this was the best present. 

Susan, Darlyl, Tracey and Sila Maria Calderon, ex-governor of Puerto Rico.

Susan wanted me to write this message from her, “for anyone that is reading this, I want you to know that you can control your mind, because the mind is powerful. Love yourself the way you are, with your virtues and defects, because nobody is perfect. If you have a dream, go for it. Try it because this is the only way you will know if you could do it. You can show others that you and all the plus size girls can do what they want because they are talented just like anyone else. Our dreams have to go one more size!!!!” 

I loved her message, my eyes teared up because she is doing what I always say you should do. PERSEVERE and NEVER give up your dreams!!!! I wish Susan the best of luck because she is brave enough to pursue her dreams!

Blessings to all,

Marta

Weekend Love: Good or Bad Hair?

I've been fighting with my hair for over six years. I went natural for the first time about six years ago. No reason really; just wanted something new. 

I've been getting perms...or relaxers...whatever you want to call them...since I was 10 years old. The relaxer didn't make my hair break off. Besides the occasional scalp burns, the creamy crack didn't bother me. I got tired of the whole cost factor of getting your hair "did". Some black women spend more money on their hair and hair care products than they spend on their bills. I've seen women go without major necessities in order to get their hair done. I mean women trying to decide on whether to pay their light bill or get a touch up.

I wanted to save money and make a step in the direction of an all natural lifestyle, something I struggle with and still trying to achieve daily. 

Some women and men think that natural hair is nappy hair or bad hair. I have that internal struggle with myself everyday! I get really discourage with my hair. I want my hair to get wet and instantly look like Rachel True's glamorous locks. (Which will NEVER happen...Ms. True is Biracial.) I get discourage, I don't feel "pretty" and go back to the creamy crack. 

Rachel True (pic from actors.com)

When I flirt with natural hair, I'm not comfortable with it, so I hide it with wigs and pieces. Even last night I had a natural meltdown. I changed into four outfits only to realize I didn't like my hair and I slopped my wig back on my head. 

On Sunday, I attended Felicia Leatherwood's Loving Your Natural Hair Workshop here in Indianapolis. Ms. Leatherwood is a hair stylist out of Los Angeles who does hair for Jill Scott, Sanaa Latham, Terrence Howard and many more. So when it was broadcast she would be here in Indy. I was one of the first to buy a ticket. We even got product junkie swag bags!!! I love FREE stuff!

I learned so much from the workshops; techniques, eating healthy, styles. But what I learned most is to embrace my natural hair and LOVE MYSELF. Felicia told us to go home and for the next two weeks, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself THREE times a day. I challenge you to do the same thing. Let's see how we fill within two weeks time. In the meantime, I'm going to ween myself of my wigs and start being comfortable with what God put on my head; a glorious head of thick healthy tightly coiled hair.

Here are some pics from the Loving Your Natural Hair Workshop:

Felicia Leatherwood speaking to the audience.

Our free product junkie swag bags...A LOT of GREAT stuff!

MC of the festivities, Kyla Williamson.

Felicia demonstrating how to moisturize hair and a quick style remedy.

MC Kyla Williamson with Felicia Yvette Hooks, the woman who brought Felicia Leatherwood to Indy to speak.

Felicia continually told the audience, if we had any questions about our hair or hair products to contact her on her Facebook page and her website (Lovingyourhairworkshop.com). I invite you to do that. She answers her emails personally and is SO knowledgeable about ALL things hair...even Caucasian and Latina hair.

Guest Blogger: Marta Rivera

Hi! My name is Marta from Puerto Rico. I love Facebook this is the way I found Janelle at her page Ruby Leonne. I loved it from the start..We email each other and I want to meet her so much…God willing she will come to Puerto Rico someday.

I want to share a sweet story about one of my students at CADI in Aguas Buenas, a tutoring center I work for. I have a plus size student who hated to be photographed. She had very low self-esteem because of her weight. Students can be cruel and they teased her.

One day I went to the center and found my student crying because other girls were telling her she was ugly because of her weight. This made me so sad. I took her aside and talked to her. I told her Ana’s story about how she's plus and all the good things that happened to her. She stopped crying and was so happy to know PLUS is beautiful!

Happy to say she loves to be photographed now. She comes to the center with bows in her hair, she smells like roses and what I love most is her beautiful smile. When I take pics, she is the first one in front of the camera. I met her mother and she told me that her daughter has changed so much. This made me feel so good! Being a plus teenager can be difficult. This is why we have to make them aware they have to accept themselves the way they are, although they can change eating habits and exercise to be healthier. Hope you liked this story.

Blessings to all.

Love,

~Marta